09-14-2005, 03:12 PM
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| Team X
Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 8,711 Rep Power: 0 
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funny but true Quote:
Almost Juicin'
Gee, you think this one is aimed at your middle-aged housewife type? Nope, Almost Juicin' is aimed right at PeeWee. The ad copy even dares him to buy real steroids and compare the results. Of course, no one is really going to do that because this stuff is geared toward guys who want to use roids, but for legal or health reasons are reluctant. The ad also says it will add inches to your arms, 75 pounds to your bench, 100 pounds to your squat, and 20 pounds of lean muscle. Take out your wallet and bend over, PeeWee. Newbie supplement buyers don't get any KY either, so this is gonna' be a painful lesson!
T-Dude, on the other hand, scans the ad copy, perhaps stifles a giggle and goes straight to the ingredients: plain 'ol andro, creatine, and an ECA stack. As my old high school girlfriend once said, "You mean that's it?" This is what's supposed to turn me into Flex Wheeler "almost instantly"? He may also notice the manufacturer included an intense workout program with the stack ? a classic Cybergenics trick. Here's how it works: take a young kid who doesn't train or eat right and make him dramatically increase his daily caloric intake and squat like a madman. Oh, yeah, and he'll take what Brian Batcheldor calls these "lollipop" supplements. Sure enough, the kid puts on some size and foolishly credits his gains to his magic pills instead of his own hard work and a decent diet.
T-Dude will also notice that the manufacturer charges 50 clams for its "Eruption" product, which despite the macho name and splashy label, is just 400 grams of creatine. That's funny, EAS gets blasted for selling 700 grams for the same price! Why the jacked-up price? Simple, any kid ignorant enough to buy the Almost Juicin' stack is also too dimwitted to scout out the best prices. Almost Juicin'? After taking a closer look, I'm almost pukin'.
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