[chesticles]

RAW starts with video recap from last week: Shane is holding HBK while HHH runs at him. HBK ducks so Shane gets the sledge in the face. Vince rushes in and does a poor acting job clutching Shane to his chest while crying and wailing.

Vince is outback talking about how his son was accidentally nailed with a sledge. The only thing saving Shane was his superior conditioning and superior genetics. While he’s sure it was an accident he demands a public apology from HHH. Anything less than a truthful and heartfelt apology will be dealt with with swift, vengeful retaliation.

Opening music and pyro.

The announcers go through a few of tonight’s matches.

The ring has red carpet and a red cloth draped over something on a stand. Car crash music and Foley comes out in a suit! Some ‘Foley’ chants in the crowd.
He thanks us for our support after the misunderstandings of the past few weeks. He says he’s not a bad guy, it’s okay to cheer him. No need to boo him. He the guy with the adorable gap toothed smile, the human muppet. The guy who says, “It’s great to be here in Las Vegas.”
But it’s not really great to be in a place where people risk everything on the roll of a dice. ‘Boos’ from the crowd. He says he didn’t become the 2 time WWE champ with a roll of the dice. He didn’t get on the best seller’s list by putting a quarter in a slot machine.
And neither did this guy - Edge.
Edge and Lita come down to the ring. Lita gets kissed on the cheek and Edge a handshake. Lita is again wearing jeans with a shirt cut to her naval.
Foley says, in regards to Lita, “Holy crap!”
He says that the reason for the red carpet is because he’s not going to apologize for their great WM match. No matter about Tommy Dreamer. Who cares what Funk thinks. None of that ooze that came from ECW are as great as Edge. That why he’s giving him this.
He pulls the cover off the stand to show the Hardcore Title Belt. Foley says he wants to give it to Edge, even thought it was given to him as a gift upon his retirement.
Edge says everything in his career that he accomplished - he deserved. He says he can’t accept the belt. But he has the hottest girl in Las Vegas going to be with him tonight. But Foley was the original hardcore legend. Foley toiled through bingo halls while men like Flair became legends. He says even though he beat Foley at WM, Foley deserves the belt.
Foley thinks it’s crappy that they guy who called him a glorified superstar earned his WM check by only living through a ladder match. Foley says there’s a problem because Foley’s giving him a gift and Edge is giving it back. He doesn’t know how he feels or what to do about it.
Edge tells him he deserves it.
Foley says that it seems the only way to decide it would be in another hardcore match. He asks the fans how they’d like that. The fans go wild.
Edge tells Foley to hang on a second and goes to whisper to Lillian Garcia.
Lillian announces Foley and Edge as Co-Hardcore Champions.
Edge and Foley pose in the ring with the belt - Lita is between them.
Music hits and breaks up their mutual appreciation club. Paul Heyman comes out and stands on the stage. Heyman asks if he’s correct that this is the only state it’s legal, and he looks in the ring and sees legalized prostitution. He starts a ‘Ho’ chant.
Lita freaks out.
Heyman says he’s not talking to Lita, but to Foley. He says that Foley has done so much, left his family for so long and he’s prostituted his family, his name and his legend. He will be damned if he lets Foley prostitute the name hardcore. He asks Foley what it’s like to look in the mirror and see the shell of what he once was.
Foley says he doesn’t see a shell. He sees the co-holder of the hardcore title, a great WWE superstar, a best selling author and has a book coming out soon. Heyman’s the one who has nothing. He’s no longer Smackdown GM, he has no power.
The crowd boos.
Heyman says he’s right, he has no power. But then again he does have the power to make a match at ECW On Night Stand. He could make a match between Edge & Foley against anyone he chooses.
Foley tells Heyman to shut up and leave their WWE building. Their not going to be in any match.
Heyman says he just realized Lita’s the only one of the three in the ring with balls. She screams and covers her crotch.
Edge has had enough. He says that Heyman’s on at ONS. But they should start it now.
Foley and Edge with Lita in tow stomp up the ramp at Heyman. Heyman starts some smooth talking until they are almost on him and he says it’s fine as he has his two bingo hall grease balls with him.
Dreamer and Funk come through the curtain and go after Foley and Edge. Dreamer beats Edge over the head with a cookie sheet and Funk attacks Foley. Funk throws Foley into the stairs. Dreamer goes after Edge with a kendo stick. Edge and Lita go over the barrier. Foley gets away from Funk and also goes over the barrier. All three escape through the crowd as Funk and Dreamer get in the ring to celebrate. Dreamer has the kendo stick in hand and Funk has a baseball bat with barbed wire in his.

- Commercial

RVD comes out to face Shelton for the IC Title. Video from last week’s huge title match where RVD lost his IC Title to Shelton. Shelton Benjamin comes out to the ring all spiffed up. He quickly goes down to the ring and poses in the corners for his multitude of fans.
‘RVD’ chants. RVD nails a shoulder block and a punch for two. RVD suplexes Shelton and covers for two. Shelton nails a reverse elbow on RVD. A couple right hands to RVD’s head but RVD nails a heel kick. Shelton leaves the ring to stop the flow.

- Commercial

In the ring Shelton has RVD on the mat in a headlock. ‘RVD’ chants. During the break RVD’s head nailed the top turnbuckle. Somehow RVD gets out of the hold and covers for two. Shelton reverses a suplex into a neckbreaker for two. Shelton applies a rear chinlock and leg scissors. RVd gets out of the scissors and fights to his feet. RVD throws elbows, but Shelton pulls RVD’s hair landing Rob on the mat.
Shelton reapplies the reverse chinlock. Shelton tries to splash RVD in a corner but RVd moves. RVD kicks Shelton in the head and nails a kick to the chest. A few clotheslines and a kick and RVD covers for two. RVD gets whipped into a corner but gets his foot up.
RVD nails rolling thunder for two. Shelton throws a punch but RVD throws a forearm. Shelton rolls from the ring and grabs the title belt. RVD nails the vandaminator on Shelton who’s holding the title belt.
The ref calls for the bell. RVD is confused. Shelton won via DQ. RVD is totally pissed as Shelton was the one who brought the belt into the ring. RVD climbs and nails Shelton with a 5 star frog splash.

- Winner: Shelton Benjamin Via DQ

Vince is outback talking to ZZ Top about how much fun they had the night before. Candice walks in and gets introduced to the guys. Vince says he needs to get to the ring for a public apology. Candice says ZZ Top is her favorite band. She plays with her beads and asks if they like her pearl necklace - It’s homemade. They, of course, are almost crawling into her dress.

Stills from Smackdown’s Judgement Day.

- Commercial

Another video recap of HHH nailing Shane with the sledge when he was supposed to hit HBK. More of Vince’s poor acting while clutching his son.

Vince’s music plays and he comes down to the ring. He says there will be a public apology. The person who will apologize is the same person who hit his son with a sledge. The one person missing is the person who needs to apologize - HHH. No music. Vince calls for HHH, but no response. On his third try HHH’s King of Kings music plays. HHH comes out dressed in black jeans and a HHH t-shirt.
Vince gives HHH a bland look as HHH enters the ring. He tells HHH he things he has something to say. HHH doesn’t say a word. Then Vince stops him and says he should remind him that HBK told Vince to act his age and move on. Since then HBK’s life has been living hell. Also, if he doesn’t get a meaningful apology there will be swift, vengeful retaliation. So he wants to hear those two words.
HHH says, “Two words? You want to words? I’ve got two words for you.” The crowd is going wild thinking they are getting DX. “I’m sorry.”
Vince says after the SQ beats HBK Vince will call for HHH. Only when Vince calls for him will HHH come out. Then HHH will use the sledge and crush HBK’s skull. Only then will he accept HHH’s apology. Vince asks if they have an understanding and puts out his hand.
HHH shakes his hand and says they have an understanding.

- Commercial

JR says See No Evil came in #3 this past weekend. Fans talk about how they loved and were scared by the movie and Kane.

Outback Todd interviews Kane. Kane says May 19th was the day his mother and adopted family were killed in a fire. He spent his whole life repressing those scars and demons. Tonight he has a match in which he can inflict pain and punishment on his opponent, and has never been happier.

Chris Master’s music is playing. He comes out for a masterlock challenge. He flexes his pecs all the way down the ramp.

Normally the announcers talk about the sponsors. This time it was Heyman’s voice pushing the sponsor of ONS. King asks what all this ECW crap is tonight. He says he’s sick of it and doesn’t want to hear it.

Cena comes down for the challenge. Chris flexes at Cena and they lock up. Chris punches Cena in the head. Chris runs into a reverse elbow. Cena drops an elbow for two. Cena goes for the FU but gets punched in the neck. Chris clotheslines Cena hard and Cena rolls from the ring.
Back in the ring Chris executes a standing vertical suplex for two. Chris calls for the masterlock. Chris goes for it and Cena tries to block it. Chris slams his forearm into Cena’s back to gain control of Cena’s other arm. Cena risks it and throws both himself and Chris out of the ring to break the possible hold.
(They advertised this as a masterlock challenge through the whole beginning of the show, but now it’s a match - what’s up with that?)

- Commercial

They are in the ring exchanging punches. Cena nails a back body drop, a couple of clotheslines and a shoulder block. Cena gets tossed in a corner but gets his foot up. Suddenly Cena locks on the stfu and Chris quickly taps out.

- Winner: Cena

RVD’s music hits and he comes down to the ring. Cena is ready for a fight, but RVD gets a mic.
RVD tells Cena to savor his time being called champ as he has a shot a the title. It didn’t come easy. In fact it came because RVD forced it. He won the money in the bank latter match. He’s not going to waist the opportunity here where he will get screwed. He wants to do it someplace the conditions work extremely well in his favor. He’s cashing in on June 11th at ONS.
RVD throws down the mic and they get in each other’s faces yelling. RVD bitch slaps Cena. They exchange blows and Cena slams RVD to the mat. Chris Masters rushes the ring and attacks Cena. Cena tosses Chris from the ring. RVD grabs his briefcase and tosses it to Cena. RVD then nails the vandaminator on Cena leaving him on the mat holding his head in the ring.

- Commercial

Outback Carlito is telling Maria about how he was playing poker. Maria asks if that’s cheating. Carlito says it okay and pulls a card out of his shirt. They walk away and run into Gene.
Maria asks if he wants to play with them.
Gene says he has a date - he called to get a show girl, and there she is.
There’s a person, wearing black high heels and a gold dress, bending over.
Gene goes over, gets on his knees and starts fondling the feet in the high heels.
Turns out it’s Goldust.
Goldust asks why he’s rubbing his feet.
Gene says he likes feet. Gene asks Goldust why he’s dressed that way as he’s wearing a gold gown and a feather boa.
Goldust says he like dressing that way.
Carlito says he’s glad that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Outback HHH is caressing his sledge and puts it down to get a cup of coffee. HBK asks HHH what he’s doing apologizing to Vince. HBK says this isn’t the guy he used to travel with years ago. He tells HHH he’s sold his soul to Vince.
HHH says he does what he has to.
HBK calls HHH a sellout and stomps off.

- Commercial

Murdock is in the ring talking about movie. He says the critics have seen Di Vinci Code and have seen See No Evil and the award will go to Tom Hanks. Kane comes down to the ring and Murdock hides in the ropes.
Murdock throws a couple punches and runs into a boot. Kane splashes Murdock in a corner. Murdock thumbs Kane’s eyes, but Kane comes back with a chokeslam for three.

- Winner: Kane

Kane is about to leave the ring and then starts grinning. He goes back after Murdock who’s still on the mat. Kane chokeslams Murdock again. Kane starts to leave and the crowd starts chanting, “One more time!” So Kane goes back and chokeslams Murdock a third time.
Kane throws his fire in the four corners and is about to leave the ring again when the lights change. The voice this time is the Undertakers. He says, “You thought it was over on May 19th - it was only the beginning. It will never end.” On the titantron is red and black stripes in what appears to be the shape of Kane’s mask, it rotates and turns the whole time.

- Commercial

This Week In Wrestling History - May 27, 1996. The Monday Night War escalates. Scott Hall invades Nitro. He tells Bisch if he wants a war, he will get one. Hall, Nash and Hogan form nWo over the next couple weeks.

Torrie Wilson comes down to the ring with Chloe. They are both in tiny two piece outfits. But while Chloe is wearing a pink hat and cape, Torrie is wearing boy shorts and a bikini type top that barely covers what it needs to Mickie James comes down to the ring in a blue and white tank and a brown miniskirt.
They lock up and Mickie gets a headlock on Torrie. Torrie gets Mickie on the mat for two. Torrie gets a headlock on Mickie, but Mickie gets out and throws punches. Torrie gets whipped but gets above Mickie and pins Mickie for two. Torrie nails a swinging neck breaker for two.
Mickie hangs Torrie up on the top rope and sledgehammer drives her fists into Torrie’s back. Torrie almost falls out of her top but pulls it all back in for Mickie to nail a DDT for three.

- Winner: Mickie James

Trish’s music hits. Trish comes out to the stage and Mickie starts screaming. Trish says Mickie doesn’t have to worry about Beth illegally attacking Mickie any more. Trish announces RAW’s newest Diva as Beth Phoenix.
Mickie backs out of the ring towards the announce table. Mickie slides from the ring and Beth is there to meet her. Beth attacks Mickie taking her down to the floor. Mickie gets to her feet and takes off over the barrier and through the crowd. Beth takes off after her.

- Commercial

Big Vis is in the ring with a mic. He says he has some big news. He tells Lillian he knows they’ve had their problems in the past, but the world’s largest love machine has decided it’s time to settle down.
She looks nervous but gets in the ring. He takes her hand and she looks shocked.
He says the last time they were in Vegas...
She says the last time they were in Vegas he left her for the Godfather’s Ho’s.
He says he knows, but now he has something for her. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a cheeseburger with a bite out of it.
“A cheeseburger?” she asks.
He says if he had her he wouldn’t have to eat them. He could come home to her home cooking. He’s a 500 pound love machine and wants to settle down with her. He gets down on one knee and asks her to marry him.
Before Lillian can say anything Estrada comes out onto the stage. He introduces himself using all three names. Estrada says their children a lot of nightmares. But before she answers him... Vis is hungry for action, but so is Umaga.
Vis knocks Umaga from the ropes as he approaches. Vis leaves the ring and they exchange blows. Vis slams Umaga into the side of the ring. Vis rushes Umaga but runs into the ring post. Umaga slams Vis into the post a couple times. Umaga drops a headbutt onto the back of Vis’ head while he lays part in the ring. Back outside against the barrier Umaga nailed the samoan spike.
Estrada and Umaga celebrate in the ring.

Superstars and Diva talk about how great See No Evil is. Benoit, Booker T, Sharmell, Candice, Cena and Big Show all talk.

Outback SQ is heading for the ring. They see HHH. They tell him that Vince told SQ that HHH was to stand right there until Vince gave the signal for HHH to take out HBK. They do a sad little cheer and head for the ring while HHH gives them a look of boredom.

- Commercial

Commercial for ECW ONS narrated by Heyman.

SQ come down to the ring. They bounce around the ring calling for HBK. The crowd starts chanting, ‘HBK’. HBK comes down to the ring with a chair in his hand. He’s not as spazzed out as usual. He gets in the ring and SQ leave.
Vince comes out and cuts things off. He relieves the ref of his duties. He tells the ref to get the hell out and take the chair.
Sq attack HBK. He takes them down one at a time until they swarm him. They beat him down before each grabbing a limb and tossing him high in the air. They then stand over him taunting him. Mitch flips Kenny in a moonsault over and over onto HBK. An elbow is dropped on HBK’s ribs. A leg is dropped. They then wishbone HBK’s legs.
Kenny and another SQ member nail a double suplex on HBK. Vince stands on the stage watching it all, laughing. They get him in a corner and do a Hardy’s type move.
They come at HBK with a chair but he gets a foot up to kick it. HBK clotheslines a couple of them from the ring and then attacks with the chair. HBK climbs and drops and elbow on one of them. HBK tries to tune up the band. He nails sweet chin music on two of them but then Nicky takes a chair to the back of HBK’s leg. Kenny rips HBK’s pants to bare the knee to take it apart. They keep attacking his left knee. They take his leg brace off as the crowd chants, “HHH!”
The SQ grabs a chair. They put his knee in a chair and Kenny climbs. The rest hold HBK and the chair while Kenny flies.
Vince then calls for HHH to crush HBK’s skull. HHH caresses his sledge and heads for the ring. HHH surveys the crowd. SQ pick up HBK for HHH. HHH looks at the crowd who chants, “DX!”
HHH wasn’t moving fast enough for Kenny who grabs the sledge and lines up. HHH steps in front of HBK at the last moment. HHH nails a spine buster on Kenny and takes apart the whole SQ. His final move is a pedigree. Once he’s done he glares up at Vince.

[Pain]

once again,raw ended poorly,and i'm sick of the damn spirit squad being in ever main event.