[philosopher]

rocky is postin like a mad man in here...

good jokes bro

[jornT]

Originally Posted by chesticles

LOl I just spat tuna all over my keyboard. DAM YOU ROCKY!

Well mannerd people eat at tables.

[chesticles]

Who said I was a person?

[jornT]

Originally Posted by chesticles

Who said I was a person?

So what are you then?

[Rocky]

He's a sophisticated sex robot sent back in time to change the future for one lucky lady.

Or is that Robcardu?

A rich millionaire throws a massive party for his 50th birthday. During this party, he grabs the microphone and announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it.

"I will give anything of mine to the man who swims across that pool."

So the party continues with no events in the pool until SUDDENLY, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened.

In the pool a man is swimming as hard as he can and fins come out of the water and jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going. The sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and gets out of the pool, tired and soaked.

The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, "I am a man of my word. Anything of mine I will give: my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?"

The guy grabs the microphone and says, "Why don't we start with the name of the jerk who pushed me in!"

[philosopher]

An old man in the nursing home got a bottle of wine for his birthday. He talked the old lady in the next room into sharing it with him.

After they were both totally bombed, he started groping the old lady and pulling at her clothes. He managed to get her blouse and bra off before she stopped him.

She said, "I can't do this, I have acute angina".

The old guy says "God, I hope so, you've got the ugliest tits I've ever seen."

[philosopher]

The difference between having Guts and having Balls...

Guts is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

Balls is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next."

[philosopher]

One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby's
crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at
the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions:
disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment,
skepticism.

Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it
aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her
husband.

"A penny for your thoughts," she said.

"It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can
make a crib like that for only $46.50."

[Rocky]

lol! Nice ones! The 2nd was a repost - but the other 2 made up for it!

[fallen]

Mexican First Aid

Luis and Francisco were having the burrito special at their favorite cantina, when they heard this awful choking sound. They turned to see this viejita a few stools down turning blue from wolfing down some menudo too fast.

Francisco said to Luis, "What do you say Ese shall we help her?" Well yeah said Luis.

Francisco got up and walked oveer to the viejita and asked, "Can you briffe?", she shook her head que no, "Can you speak?", she shook her head no.

With that he helped her to her feet. Lifted up her skirt and licked her butt. She was so shocked, she coughed up the piece of menudo and began to breathe with great relief.

Franciso turned to his friend Luis and said. "Ordale Ese, see that Hind Lick Maneuver works every time."

[Nothin' but a peanut!!]

what do maccas and michael jackson have in common?
they both have 30 year old meat between 10 year old buns

whta did the mexican firefighter call his two sons?
Hose -A
and
Hose -B

[Rocky]

The Daily Telegraph recently conducted a poll of male readers to see what exactly each enjoyed from a blow job.

Seven per cent said they most enjoyed the sensations.

Five per cent confessed their chief enjoyment came from the sense of domination.

Eighty eight per cent said they really enjoyed the peace and quiet.

[Rocky]

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds.

As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies
sitting in a used car.

He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were they
trying to steal it?

"Heavens no, we bought it."

"Then why don't you drive it away."

"We can't drive."

"Then why did you buy it?"

"We were told that if we bought a Used car here we'd get screwed, so we're
just waiting.