| Getting ripped
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: In Steeler Country! Age: 40 Posts: 7,948
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It made me laugh............
It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change
the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven,
you had to have a real bummer of a day when you died. The policy would
go into effect at noon the next day.
The next day at 12:01am, the first person came to the gates of Heaven.
The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly said to
the man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was
going when you died."
"No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th floor apartment on my
lunch hour and caught my wife half naked. She appeared to be having an
affair, but her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching
for him. My wife was yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment.
Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony
and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips!
The nerve of that guy! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his
fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed
in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This
ticked me off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first
thing I could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first
thing I thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out
onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and
crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart
attack and died almost instantly."
The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have
a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announced, "OK, sir.
Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.
A few seconds later the next guy came up. The Angel said, "Before I
can let you in, I need to hear about what your day was like when you
died."
"No problem," said the second man. "But you're not going to believe this.
I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I
had been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my
stress. I guess I got a little carried away,slipped, and accidentally fell
over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on
the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running
out of his apartment,starts cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well, of
course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom which broke my
fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the
ground, unable to move, and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his
REFRIGERATOR, of all things, off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and
lands on top of me, killing me instantly."
The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story.
"I could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very well,"
the Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets the
man enter.
A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gate. The angel says,
"Please tell me how you died."
The third man says, "OK, picture this. I'm naked, hiding inside
a refrigerator..."
ROFL..LMAO
Chris
__________________  Orbit Nutrition Representative Quote: |
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Originally Posted by bbdude  keep being THE DUNGEON! Cause u are! U are the dungeon! | |
”A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he gives up.”
