[islander]

hmm well you could be scophrenic. jk jk just sounds like you think ALOT. and um mabey need to eat more soilds then learn the clean pinch off techneqic (no or low residue). ..if you washed your balls and ass you wouldnt need deoderant... but there are antiperspirants which my bf says sting under his arms so i got him deodorant which dosnt, mabey switch? and 5 hours! wow where are you when i wake up!?

[ibanezman88]

this thread has made me laugh so hard
man i can't believe i told you guys all this.

i'm a real spacy person. and i do think a lot. all i do is think think think.

[KM]

IBANEZEMAN LMFAOOOO, I was dieing lmao.

For me:

• When I wale up, I have a boner for around a half hour.
• When I listen to music, I change the song every 50 seconds or so.
• When I pee, it takes me about a good 10 whips to get everything out, then when I'm done I drip all over my pants.
• I bring a jug of water wherever I go, not matter where I am.
• Everytime I see a mirror, I check out the guns.
• I need to text, otherwise I break down
• Before I leave the house, I make sure what I'm wearing makes me look brolic.
• I freak out when I watch horror flicks, so I never do anymore.
• I always rub my balls when I'm by myself, another habit.
• Every light I see, I wonder if it would bring out my definition.

[Blitzkrieg]

lmao you guys are cracking me up

ok I have some more:

- I scratch my balls on a daily basis, usually when alone also BUT, everytime I do I have to smell my fingers, just to check how it smells and how greasy my balls currently are. (I DONT TASTE IT)

- Whenever I eat a Big Mac/Whopper, I carefully take one pickle out, then I just toss the others.

- If I walk by a car, I have to check my reflection. Always.

- If I'm waiting for someone (ie. my girlfriend or a friend) and it's been a while, I just pull out my cellphone and play around with it, whether it be checking the time compulsively or pretending to be talking to someone

- I used to watch movies over and over and over so I could learn most of the lines, I just recently stopped doing this.

- When I was little and people close to me died, I thought that when they went to heaven they would be watching my every move, so I had to stop masturbating for a few weeks or I would feel guilty.

- When I finish working out, I always have to take my shirt off in the locker room and flex.



oh man I feel naked after saying all this

[PoppaDLo]

- I tend to get buyers remorse and don't want/enjoy the item due to it not being what I wanted/fitting about 85% of the time.
- Even if I got the joke the first time, I re-read the whole comic, even if I got to the end and didn't thing it was a funnie one or not.
- I yell a lot in rage in the car as if the others could hear me.
- I adjust my review mirror about 3 times in my 15 mile trip to work.
- I wont hit my kids with a shitty spatchala, it has to be of good quality.
(and if you didn't get it, that one was a joke)
- I tend to use (those things) and (explain myself to much as if eveyone were dumb).
- I tend to touch my arm pits and smell my fingers as if a simple sniff is not enough of a yea or nea of stentch.
- I have to have pitchures even on the wall.
- I tend to fondle when the kids are not around. Even if I am just having a convo with the wife.
- I pack rat things even if they have no real need in life. The dumb stuff to as if I would use it at some point and time in the next 11 years.
- I took out all my earings, cut my hair all to become a clean cut cop and yet I still can't get enough dirty/sexy pics of Gothic chicks.

[mvillelifter]

-I have to get completely naked when I poop.

-I rub my abs when I masturbate. (yup, i love myself that much)

-I also use (these) to much to explain non important things. (dont know y)

-I wear womens deodorant.

-I compulsively lie all day. I'm not sure why. It doesn't have to be about anything big or anything I'm trying to hide. I just do it. For example. If I went to walgreens and my mom asked where i went Ill tell her CVS. If my dad asks what muscle I worked today Ill tell him something other than what I did. I can rarely tell someone I don't feel like talking on the phone so I'll say something like "the cops are at my door,gotta go" or "my mom is in the hospital, bye" the n that jsut leads to me telling more lies about what happened.

[PoppaDLo]

Originally Posted by ibanezman88

my alarm clock scares the fuck out of me but i've been using it for years.

my case of talking to myself is way worse than the normal weird person. i have entire conversations with an imaginary person and they actually respond back. it gets worse, i'll do this for periods of sometimes half an hour.

It's 11:33pm on Sunday and I just about woke up both my boys and my wife laughing super hard at these ones.

[ibanezman88]

i'm glad you found them funny. i'm actually laughing out loud every time people respond saying that they laughed.

if i'm alone in my room, half the time i have my hand in my pants holding my balls. it's just comfortable for some reaoson.

i make funny faces in the mirror to get a laugh out of myself. it works everytime.

i make scary faces to try to scare myself and it works sometimes. my sister also admitted to doing this.

i too take a poopoo butt naked. i don't know why.

when a terd is hanging off and i can't break it off, i've tried bouncing up and down a couple of times and ended up getting shit on the toilet seat. and then i was so grossed out that i threw up in the toilet. and the sight of my own vomit and shit in the same toilet bowl made me throw up even more. i kept this up for about 5 minutes before i realised that i should've flushed the toilet to prevent from thowing up so much. so i flushed and cleaned up after myself.....and continued to poop some more. this really happened before.

when i sing out loud, i sing in a woman voice. my sister thought i was really gay once.

you ever get into bed and are so comfortable that you have to move around really fast and end up out of breath? it's hard to explain.

when i play guitar, i make movements with my mouth as if the sounds of the guitar were coming out of my mouth.

i've came to school and work before with cum stains on the legs of my pants. try explaining your way out of that one.

i'm an angry person. i'll wake up in the middle of the night angry for no reason and punch my wall and go back to sleep.

sometimes, especially first thing in the morning, i would sit on my toilet just thinking and not doing anything for a good half hour. actually, i could do that at any given time. just sit there and think for hours not being bored. i love doing that.

i fall down my steps at my house at least once a week and so does all my family members. when we had a dog, it too fell down the steps. when my grandparents came over our house from puerto rice, both of them fell down the steps somewhere in a 3 week period.

i've fall up the steps at least once a week.

there's this trash can at work that i trip over at least once every shift without fail.

at work, everytime i go out the back door to do something, i ALWAYS lock myself out every time and half to walk all the way around to get back in from the front. i forget every time.

i absolutly and truly love the smell of my own farts.

except when i'm working out. they make me gag. people in the gym have seen me gag. i wonder what they would think if they knew it was because of my own farts.

i cry when i watch sad parts in movies. not even sad movies, i cried at the end of the movie conair. i cried in this scene of a pokemon movie.

i say things to people in my mind as i'm taking very nicely to them like "hi, i gonna kill you"

[ibanezman88]

and guys, i'm not making this shit up.

eveyone i know tells me i'm wierd. even my own family. and actually, i don't mind that at all.

[Blitzkrieg]

ROFL ibanez you're fucking killing me mannn.......!!!!! HAHAHHa I think I just had a fart-burst from laughing

[Blitzkrieg]

Oh that reminds me, I used to have a lot of fart-bursts when I was a kid and without warning shit my pants. This kept going until I was 10 years old, I have it under control now