[Stabber]

I had written a rather long post, but decided to delete it all :( I was about to write about my own life, but it hurts too much, so I've decided to post 2 poems instead.. Facts: Depressed for over 5 years / Dead inside / Agony every day, except when I sleep. So here is the poems, enjoy.. Let the poems speak for me, and tell my story.



Month of May:

I mark my grave with love and hate,
I'm blind and buried, but not afraid.
The damp cold dark, is leading the way,
the dirt is soft, the month is may.

I see your face with lust and faith,
the sound of nothing, I don't feel safe.
A voice of love, a voice of hate,
the voice of you, would end my ache.

Alone and forgotten, I'm not awake,
I open my eyes, am I too late?
I find myself death and decayed
I guess it's over, I'll never wake.

------------------------------------------------

Insanity:

I see nothing but fear and pain,
I stand alone looking in the mirror, insane?
This feeling that I cannot feel,
is the one needed for me to heal.

As I look inside my open mind,
I find that nothing is left behind.
All the sorrow from years of agony,
is showing marks of my own insanity.

I was right from the start, but wrong from the beginning,
the world is the same, and the world is winning.
the pain i felt, the love i craved,
is haunting my mind and not to be saved.

[moorey]

Originally Posted by Stabber

I had written a rather long post, but decided to delete it all :( I was about to write about my own life, but it hurts too much, so I've decided to post a poem instead.. Facts: Depressed for over 5 years / Dead inside / Agony every day, except when I sleep. So here is the poem, enjoy.. Let the poem speak for me, and tell my story.

Month of May:

I mark my grave with love and hate,
I'm blind and buried, but not afraid.
The damp cold dark, is leading the way,
the dirt is soft, the month is may.

I see your face with lust and faith,
the sound of nothing, I don't feel safe.
A voice of love, a voice of hate,
the voice of you, would end my ache.

Alone and forgotten, I'm not awake,
I open my eyes, am I too late?
I find myself death and decayed
I guess it's over, I'll never wake.

Hiya, that sounds really sad mate! have you talked to anyone about the way you feel?

[Stabber]

I've told my girlfriend, and a few others.. People don't understand the feeling of being depressed, not unless they have tried it. Every time I talk about it, it hurts even more after.. Thoughts I hate and things I cannot cope with infects my mind with agony. "Years of sorrow"

I've posted another poem, maybe that will give some more clarity.

[Freak]

Usually the a major part of why people are depressed is they have no hope. The reason they don't have hope is they feel they cannot control their life. Figure out what you cannot control, determine why, and work on ways to fix it or ask us. We are not substitues for professional advice but hopefully we can provide a different perspective and help you.

[Stabber]

Originally Posted by Freak

Usually the a major part of why people are depressed is they have no hope. The reason they don't have hope is they feel they cannot control their life. Figure out what you cannot control, determine why, and work on ways to fix it or ask us. We are not substitues for professional advice but hopefully we can provide a different perspective and help you.

I have no hope left, that is correct.. I can control my life, but I cannot control my thoughts.. First thought in the morning is something that makes me depressed, last thought at night is depressing.. Think I'm cutting edge with insanity.

[moorey]

Originally Posted by Stabber

I have no hope left, that is correct.. I can control my life, but I cannot control my thoughts.. First thought in the morning is something that makes me depressed, last thought at night is depressing.. Think I'm cutting edge with insanity.

Brent is right, depression clinical or reactive needs not only medication but talking therapy. Its a vicious circle and you need help maybe some cognitive behaviour therapy to assist you. Has Brent says get help now, its has crippling as any physical pain so dont be ashamed to seak help you would if you broke your leg wouldnt you? all the best mate!

[Stabber]

I'm sorry, I can't seek help :\ I have tried for over 5 years to straighten this up with no luck, I've decided that giving up is easier, and let the pain disappear on it's own.. If this won't work, I'm going to live like this until I cross over.

Coping with pain is impossible, when the pain is greater than you.

[Stabber]

Logging for a little while, I can't cope with it now.. I can't take it.. See you guys.

[Freak]

This is serious: whenever I get anything less than positive thoughts all I need is sleep, glucose, or protein. If you have all those you feel ready to take on the world. I think your case is more advanced than that but start with that as a base and move forward from there.

Often times people get depressed about things they have done in the past which you cannot change. If you feel a guilty conscious; volunteer. You will feel better each day and soon instead of thinking how "bad you are/were" you will be thinking how I made somone's day, week, month, etc... Even simple gestures that nobody knows about, then you can move on to bigger and better acts of volunteerism.

[Kaboom]

I am all for helping people and I understand depression but we sure have seen alot of these threads lately.Is it the holidays or people needing attention or what.I would hate to think that there is all these people out there that lead this kind of life!

[Freak]

I think anti-depressants are the most prescribed med in America. I know meds have their uses but I stay as far away from them as I have to. I don't like taking tylenol.

CDC: Antidepressants most prescribed drugs in U.S. - CNN.com

I think the Dr. in the article summed it up best:

"Too many people take drugs when they really need to be making changes in their lives."