[redfirebirdowner]

Hey guys i just need to get this out there. My anniversary is The 10th of December,and my wife is wanting a separation not a Divorce just a separation. Am i wrong for worrying about ths "separation" I've never seen a trial seperation go well, I do not want this but she feels like she needs this. She said she loves me but is not in love with me,its all my fault is what i think but at the same time she could have been telling me this along time before it came down to this. We will be married five years in two weeks and have a three year old son.I came from a "broken home" and swore my son would never see what it is like to have to visit his daddy on the weekends but it has seem to come down to that.sorry to made ya'll read this but i just needed to tell family about this and i feel like i know alot of ya'll

[Freak]

Really sorry to hear this. Maybe you two should consider counseling so you can determine the reason(s) she feels this way and what is needed to work through it. Good luck man.

[echoscot]

Oh man....dude, you just made me cry...I will be praying for you and your son and your wife.

But the worst thing you can do is believe what you just wrote...

"it's all my fault..."

IT IS NOT DAMMIT....this stuff is a two way street. Unless you were beating her and verbally abusing her every hour and every day and hating on her, then there is NO FRIGGING WAY IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

I don't know the exact situation, and I'm sure you are aware of your own shortcomings in the relationship, but there is no way that she does not share the blame.

Sorry about the rant. I went through a divorce many years ago, and I know the blame game. I did it to myself and I let her do it to me as well.

Again, I pray that this does not end wrong. If you ever need anything, let me know...

Peace

[rIPPDUP]

sorry to hear about this bud. as with all negative aspects of life, there is always a purpose behind it. the seperation could make her realize just how much she actually is IN love with you. take each day as it comes...CARPE DIEM. don't let things get you down, your too strong of a person to let something or some one bring you down. your a great guy, and although i'm not the greatest person with relationships as mine of 4 years has fell apart, i'm here for you if you ever need to talk.

[redfirebirdowner]

I really appreciate it guys and covet the prayers man. Thanks

[projekt0]

really sorry to hear this man. i hope things work out between you two and you dont have to separate.

[Thomas_Rivera]

I wish the best for you man, maybe counsiling is what you need, maybe something to add a spark. But its not all your fault, dont beat yourself up about it, what you need to do is talk to her, and not one of those "I just need space talks" get her to tell you why, get the bottom of things.

[bigbull]

am sorry to hear this man i hope you sort it out

[Mygeeto]

councelling may be the only thing to do.. i dont beleive in tablets mate, but today when i opened up for the first time about being depressed to mum, she just said "okay we'll take you to the doctors tomorow for medication"

.................................

[rIPPDUP]

if you ever want to talk...pm me and i'll give you my cell number. you can call anytime bud.

[bigbull]

if i was in the usa i would have tld him to come and meet me and have a chat

[poison ivy]

Originally Posted by redfirebirdowner

Hey guys i just need to get this out there. My anniversary is The 10th of December,and my wife is wanting a separation not a Divorce just a separation. Am i wrong for worrying about ths "separation" I've never seen a trial seperation go well, I do not want this but she feels like she needs this. She said she loves me but is not in love with me,its all my fault is what i think but at the same time she could have been telling me this along time before it came down to this. We will be married five years in two weeks and have a three year old son.I came from a "broken home" and swore my son would never see what it is like to have to visit his daddy on the weekends but it has seem to come down to that.sorry to made ya'll read this but i just needed to tell family about this and i feel like i know alot of ya'll

Hey first off redfirebirdowner its really good you come to this forum to express your personal life, especially when times are hard !
I have been previously married to a gorgeous Brazilian girl for 4 years but unfortunately things just didnt work out ! It was me who took the stand and I think we are bith more happier individuals for not living in a relationship and being stuck in a rut ! This may sound harsh but as you mention shes not " IN " love with you but loves you as a friend thats easier to take than in my case my EX is still in love with me which i think makes it more harder to pull away and move on !

At the end of the day you dont want to be second best to nobody esp not your own partner who only loves you as a friend and not a lover ! I can only assume if your partner wants to seperate that usually follows a divorce ! not what your son needs at his age atm !!
If it were me who was visiting my baby daughter every weekend because we split up I would feel like a second citizen !! Its so hard on us guys we always seem to get the short straw when it comes to kids !

2 options for ya m8 ! Option 1 is whisk her off her feet the same way you both met in the first place !! Take her somewhere romantic for a long weekend away from troubles at home and maybe that way she will understand she still loves you etc !

Or option 2 ... do what she wants get out of the relationship and move on !! maybe its all a test and she wants to see how you react to the seperation ! Dont keep calling etc ... give her space and as you are still both on speaking terms at least visiting your son will not be a daunting task ! Stay friendly and remain in contact purely for your son as he needs you most
d00d !

Who knows what her real reasoning is behind all this but at the end of the day one thi