Nothing to be proud of

poison ivy · 11-29-2007, 04:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redfirebirdowner

I love reading job, Because no matter how rough it gets for me i know there was someone that had it all and lost it in one day kinda humbles me a little.

Yeh but feeling humble about someone elses misfortunes isnt going to help your own situation .. I guess its a feeling of " im not alone " because generally we all think we are alone when things turn bad in a relationship.

redfirebirdowner · 11-29-2007, 04:51 AM

What really bothers me is that I am a really planned person everything I do has to be planned or I will not do it.It bothers me when others are not as organized as me and not on damn time, stuff like that kills me. Just get there early damn it. ok I'm better. Anyways back to my point this was not part of my plans for my life i never planned on getting a divorce at 25. I planned on selling my current house and building a new one in the country and I'm mad That this will never happen.I planned on having a real wedding in our new house since we had a court house wedding and that sucked.But my plans are getting changed. and I didnt change them I just need t suck it up and get real with myself huh. Oh man this is harder than it has to be because of me huh

poison ivy · 11-29-2007, 05:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redfirebirdowner

What really bothers me is that I am a really planned person everything I do has to be planned or I will not do it.It bothers me when others are not as organized as me and not on damn time, stuff like that kills me. Just get there early damn it. ok I'm better. Anyways back to my point this was not part of my plans for my life i never planned on getting a divorce at 25. I planned on selling my current house and building a new one in the country and I'm mad That this will never happen.I planned on having a real wedding in our new house since we had a court house wedding and that sucked.But my plans are getting changed. and I didnt change them I just need t suck it up and get real with myself huh. Oh man this is harder than it has to be because of me huh

Sorry to keep hogging your thread m8 but I can relate to it as ive been there also !

You mention your plans in life ... No such thing

Life in my opinion can never be planned out the way you wish it to be unless your a very lucky fortunate person. Let me guess .... Your 25 as you say and you planned or imagined a perfect life with a perfect house in a gorgeous thatched cottage ????? Nope .... its not reality for most of us
m8 its a fact of life shit happens such as relationship breakups ... divorces .... tragedys.
I was like you when I got married at 27 to this Brazilian girl who travelled to London to visit me ! Cutting a long story short we fell for each other first site ! Of course I knew what she looked like before hand but when we finally met it was awsome ! The sad part is we always said " we will still be married when we are old together " but just wasnt to be I guess for whatever reason :( So shit happens ! Ive had my fair share probably what your going through now and I still may have the same again with my current G/F who is going through anti-natal depression right now meaning I cant do anything right lol !! So my past may be coming back to haunt me m8 lol ! Plus theres my Daughter to think about now !

So life is all about Trial and Error ... will never be how you prepare / imagine a perfect life ! You will be a stronger person to just move on

As my signature once stated by Henry Rollins,
" Friends may come and go but 200 Ibs will always be 200Ibs " So So true !

**kenney** · 11-29-2007, 05:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redfirebirdowner

Hey guys i just need to get this out there. My anniversary is The 10th of December,and my wife is wanting a separation not a Divorce just a separation. Am i wrong for worrying about ths "separation" I've never seen a trial seperation go well, I do not want this but she feels like she needs this. She said she loves me but is not in love with me,its all my fault is what i think but at the same time she could have been telling me this along time before it came down to this. We will be married five years in two weeks and have a three year old son.I came from a "broken home" and swore my son would never see what it is like to have to visit his daddy on the weekends but it has seem to come down to that.sorry to made ya'll read this but i just needed to tell family about this and i feel like i know alot of ya'll

my mum did this to my dad after a 15year marriage bro. i experienced all of the 'break up' she more or less had an affair with another bloke. it was pretty traumatic for me, i wont go into detail but i will tell you this: its left me with some pretty nasty personality disorders ie paranoia, guilt, anger etc so always keep in mind, a good divorce is better than a bad marriage! learn from my parents' mistakes, if you really want the best for your kid(s), argue (or whatever you have to do) in private, not in front of the kids. in all fairness man, the chances are, its not your fault, its not her fault either. people change and thats that way the world goes round

Mygeeto · 11-29-2007, 05:42 AM

i love how when people think theyve lost it all, they read about someone else whos had it worse off and it makes them feel good again

**kenney** · 11-29-2007, 05:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mygeeto

i love how when people think theyve lost it all, they read about someone else whos had it worse off and it makes them feel good again

lol thats human nature for you bro

redfirebirdowner · 11-29-2007, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mygeeto

i love how when people think theyve lost it all, they read about someone else whos had it worse off and it makes them feel good again

It's not really about feeling better just knowing someone else has been there and feels kinda like you do.

Stabber · 11-29-2007, 10:59 AM

Sorry to hear mate.

I have seen a separation work out mate, my own parents was separated for a year or so and found back together, they are still together this day and are having a great time.

You will of course be worried, and if you weren't I'd say there was something wrong.. Just hope for the best and I will hope for the best with you.

But as mentioned, it is possible for it to work out, and I hope it will for you.

redfirebirdowner · 11-29-2007, 02:25 PM

Thanks man^^

redfirebirdowner · 06-13-2008, 02:23 PM

Just an update on this situation. Me and my wife were seperated for six months and had went as far as signing divorce papers. I started talking to her more and more and finally talked her into working it out and starting over, So we are doing good now

L!on · 06-13-2008, 02:39 PM

men is sad to hear it. investing a lot of time and love and just like that it hits you. I've been married for three years and it has been really dificult. marriage is a 2 person responsability not one. counseling has been the only thing that has kept us together and it has worked for me. doesn't matter how bad something is every problem have solution and if not then the question is been made wrong. love is something that you cultivate it does not disapear like we thing so it really is a responsability to keep it up. my advice is try to do as you used to do when you where her boyfriend and it helps to see the wedding pictures. Put a picture of the wedding and tell her that you still love that girl no matter what has happened.