HELP!!! Relationship Problems

rude_boy · 05-03-2006, 02:04 PM

Ok...this is my first post in a LONG ass time...but I need yall's advice and I know that I can always get sincere answers and real advice from BBD.com

Ok, so here's my lame relationship problem (and I probably should die for even having this problem)...

Scenario #1-
I have been with the same girl for 4 years. Our sex-life is below satisfactory. Naturally, I talk to her about the problem...but the problem hasn't changed AT ALL over the course of 4 years. DAMMIT! (I was probably stupid for staying with her for this, but I was convinced that my love for her was strong enough that we could overcome ANY obstacle). Anyways, seeing that I couldn't get any ass even if she was piss drunk and horny as hell, I naturally started considering other options and started looking elsewhere...I need to feel wanted...who doesn't right? This leads into scenario #2. Keep in mind that I have been a big part of my girlfriend's life for the past 4 years and vice-versa. (I saw her nephew being born(her whole family considers me to be his uncle), I've traveled to different countries with her, basically we were one person...minus coitus.)I feel stuck...Ok then...

Scenario #2-
Seeing as my sex-life is below satisfactory, I naturally started looking elsewhere. Little did I know that when I looked elsewhere, many of them were looking back. But one girl in particular...I always wanted her...a face of an angel without a doubt, stared me down hard. We began to talk and realized that the lust we had for each other was uncontrolable. (Un)fortunately, I slipped on my 4 year relationship...I slipped it in. She liked it and begged for more. SHE BEGGED FOR MORE! That was something I never experienced in my 4 year relationship. I liked it. GUILTY CONCIENCE...Lips Sealed.

So what do I do? Do I stay with my better half? Do I become somebody's better half? Consider the OPTIONS BELOW.

If I stay with my girlfriend of 4 years...undying love, devotion, warmth, no sex

If I go for the other girl...undying lust, lips, and labia...but possibly no future.

Input Please.

-Rude_boy

jornT · 05-03-2006, 02:21 PM

What exactly is the reason for your 4 year girlfriend for not wanting to have sex?

If she just say, I don't want to, that's not good enough. If you guys have a problem, you need to work it out. If she doesn't give any reason what so ever she makes sure the problem never solves, which is unacceptable in a relationship.

Imagine you saying from now on I piss on the floor. If she asked why, you say because I like. She responds with, but that doesn't make any sence and you answer with, yeah but I like it. Well it's a stupid example, but that's just not gonna work. Tell her that you have a problem with the no sex thing and ask for a good reason. I'm not saying you should force her into having sex with you, but you should force her into giving the reason behinf it, that's the least she could so for you after four years. (well that and a BJ)

rude_boy · 05-03-2006, 02:32 PM

Hey thanks man...

Yeah, I've talked to her about it and she has no idea why. From observing her though, I boiled it down to her self-image...it's horrible. She always complains about her appearance...and I'm sure she doesn't feel any sexier when she is naked. The funny thing is that she does nothing about it. No cardio...all whining...and the occasional Atkins binge. SAD.

jornT · 05-03-2006, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rude_boy

Hey thanks man...

Yeah, I've talked to her about it and she has no idea why. From observing her though, I boiled it down to her self-image...it's horrible. She always complains about her appearance...and I'm sure she doesn't feel any sexier when she is naked. The funny thing is that she does nothing about it. No cardio...all whining...and the occasional Atkins binge. SAD.

LOL. You want to have sex with her because you love her/and or you think she's hot, so she's has something right, so tell her to stop whining and start stripping!

robcardu · 05-03-2006, 04:02 PM

Believe it or not yesterday,i was thinking "where the fuck is rude boy?"

.....man if you really love that girl you should sit down and give her an ultimatum, otherwise things are gonna start to get complicated, i see no point in keeping a realtionship where you´re gonna disrespect her every week, some day you guys will be tired of that crap and break up, and will probably be worse cus you might have kids. just my 2 cents bro.

hugegunns · 05-03-2006, 04:25 PM

I agree with rob, get the fuck out before you have any kids, but I also guess you have to have sex to have kids right, so you might still be OK. You only have one life to live, and live that life being happy bro. Don't be scared to leave her because of her family, grow some nuts! I am assumming she was your first piece of ass and you can't let go. I wouldn't make anymore mistakes until you get this setteled either, it could do more damage than you think. I would hate to log-on to a Dallas newpaper webpage and read RUDE-BOY in the obituary!!!

Good Luck!

Diesel · 05-03-2006, 04:35 PM

You're gona get a lot of different opinions on this one and in the end the result is up to you. Personally, I know im savin my sh*t till im married anyways so my opinion is gona be a lot different than other peoples. I think you need to put sex aside and think to yourself "is the only reason I'm asking this question because of sex?" Being a teen can be a bitch because sometimes its tough to tell the difference between your penis talking or your brain. Every single guy has been through it at one point or another and if any guy says he hasn't hes full of shit. Just think things through, thats really all you can do. If sex is that important then more power to ya. But just remember the relationship itself outside of the bedroom, thats what really matters. It may not seem like it now, but eventually it will hit you...good luck bud

philosopher · 05-03-2006, 04:41 PM

Ask yourself the question: "is sex the most important thing in a relationship?"
Maybe write the positive and negative thing of her on a pice of paper. Could be a good indicator.

hugegunns · 05-03-2006, 04:52 PM

Diesel good post, and props to you and your beliefs. I don't think you understand to problem rude-boy is having though, lets say your hands have a mind of their own and they always have helped you out, but for the last 4 years they just don't feel like it, you would be looking for a new set of hands my friend. Don't act like you never been to the Adult thread either bro.

robcardu · 05-03-2006, 04:55 PM

yeh you`re right guys but if sex is the nº 1 on his list he also would of kicked her out, so im assuming he loves the girl but he needs sex (good sex) but at the same time he doesn`t want to go out cheating on her.

Diesel · 05-03-2006, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hugegunns

Don't act like you never been to the Adult thread either bro.

Never! Not once!

Ghosting · 05-03-2006, 09:17 PM

1. Youll have plenty of problems to deal with later in life. Life is too short to deal with a girl who is not interested in sex.

2. You dont want to commit to the new girl either. If she has a low enough self-esteem to let you "deal" with your ex, she is going to be probs.

I know its easier said than done, but leave her.

Get out while the gettin' is good. Youll be happier in the long run.

MaKaVeLi · 05-03-2006, 10:12 PM

some good advice from ghosting, ditch the girl n get a real women!