30 years old, 5'8" 220 lbs BF ? too much prob in 20's

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Hey everyone I am glad to say I am getting back to Bodybuilding. I am ready to get back into it hardcore. I have more knowledge now than before, but am stumbled as to where to begin. I have had a long layoff since some hard training while single and in the military. I am now a cop, married, two kids, mortgage etc, you get my point. Well needless to say my last few attempts at getting back to training have been less than memorable, and I have been plagued by injuries in the past six years (2 broken legs, and 2 car accidents (one pretty serious), all while at work thankfully. Along with some personal pitfalls this has left me unmotivated, depressed, stressed out and I have finally come to the reality that I am now just a fat guy who used to work out and look good. I want to be that guy again not just for myself, but for my wife and kids, I do not want to be the Dad who gets winded or worse

after 5 min outside playing ball with my kids (2 very active boys). I want to be able to get out and teach them all about sports and health as I was taught at a young age. Also with my dangerous job I need to be in better shape in case I might need to save someones life or that of my own someday. I have tried many times to get back into the BB life and keep up with info on this site and many others and in mags, I have also started to take a personal training course. But, I still just seem so confused as to where to start myself. I want to get bigger (massive lean mass), but right now I have way to much BF% prob in 20's. SO I do not know If I should do a cutting type diet or a lean mass / fat loss diet. Also training I love hardcore lifting and it seems in my stage and condition I need somewhat of a beginner whole body approach?
If this should be posted in another area please let me know I am desperate. I have been on this iste and others many times and mostly find diets for guys bulking, but not much on guys already big, needing to lose some fat but mainitain size. Any help or direction would be greatly appreciated.